What is forgivness?
by Meekachu
Summary: Something Washu says and does causes Ryoko to retreat into herself and it's up to tenchi to pick up the pieces. Give feedback. I hope you enjoy it.
1. Default Chapter

All characters belong to their respective owners. I don't own any of them. R&R  
  
This has been worked on. Hopefully most of the errors were corrected.  
  
Happy Reading!!  
  
  
  
Complete and utter silence reigned in the kitchen. Mother and daughter stood on opposite sides of the table and everyone's eyes bounced nervously between the two. Both stood staring at each other with clenched fists and stubborn expressions. No one had seen this fight coming. Washu stood there in her adult form, a surprising thing in itself. The self-proclaimed Greatest Scientific Genius in the Universe normally chose to remain in a 12- year-old's body. Yet there she stood in her adult form watching her daughter Ryoko.  
  
The princess was the first to notice that the former most wanted criminal space pirate was crying, silently. The two rivals' eyes met and the pirate's expression dared the princess to say something. A look of shock and hurt danced across the princess' face before it was masked by well- drilled manners. The pirate looked away first.  
  
Ayeka knew that she always ragged on the Ryoko whenever she had a chance. But hadn't realized that the pirate believed that she would expose her pain to others. Did Ryoko really think that she, Ayeka, thought so little of her as a person? It made the princess wonder if she had ever as the earthlings said 'poured salt into an open wound.' She began to replay some of their fiercest fights as she looked down at her bowl and chopsticks. Ayeka attempted to remember Ryoko's face before and after their fights got seriously ugly. She recalled once when she'd called Ryoko an uneducated, greedy, backstabbing demon from the void and Ryoko had grimaced as if in pain.  
  
"You admit it demon?" she had asked.  
  
"No princess, your extremely ordinarily dull insults are cheesy," she'd answered, "Maybe you'd do better at fighting, but I doubt it."  
  
Ryoko's voice brought her out of her stroll down memory lane. She could hear the tears in the pirate's voice. She looked up at Ryoko.  
  
"Excuse me for disrupting the meal," Ryoko said before she phased out of the room.  
  
"Ryoko..." Washu started reaching out her hand to her daughter.  
  
Ryoko paused looking at Washu's hand.  
  
"Ryoko," Washu started again, "Ryoko I'm sorry."  
  
Ryoko laughed, a low and bitter sound. "Sure you are 'Mom.' How nice of you to remind the world that I can't actually taste anything. Do you know how frustrating it is to 'remember' how something should taste and not..." Ryoko choked.  
  
"Ryoko stop..."  
  
"Nooooo, lets get them all out," she spat the words in Washu's face. "To recall colors but only see in black and white. To feel only two emotions, pain and relief; both so often intertwined that you're unable to tell the difference. Wanting to be normal but can't because of a river of blood created by your own hands. To remember a love of words but unable to write my own name!" Ryoko's tears were flowing freely now. "Don't you dare say that you were trapped. You ignored my pleas to let me die. You could've helped me from suffering at his hands. Nooo. You wanted to defeat him for making you look bad. While you were safe in your crystal I was out killing people and my own humanity."  
  
"Ryoko stop it," Washu said harshly.  
  
"No, I won't. You never did."  
  
Ayeka found herself standing next to Ryoko. She placed her hands on Ryoko's shoulders. "Ryoko please, look at Sasami," she murmured gently. She realized Ryoko hadn't noticed that she'd been yelling.  
  
Ryoko looked from Washu to the little girl. Sasami sat with tears running down her face as she looked from Ryoko to Washu. Ayeka felt Ryoko's sudden intake of breath at the pain she had caused to one of the few people who accepted her as she was, as incomplete as that was. "Sasami, I'm sorry. Forgive me," she whispered before disappearing.  
  
Ayeka clenched her fists close and held them against her heart. She sat down slowly in Ryoko's place next to Tenchi. The room was still silent until a sob of pain broke it. Ayeka looked up, she thought it might have been Sasami but it was Washu. She was still standing but now she was crying. The elder princess looked at Sasami, who looked completely confused as to whom to turn to. Sasami's pink eyes met her sister's. Ayeka held her arms open. She felt Sasami's arms go around her neck. The Juraian princess held her little sister, who cried as if her heart was breaking.  
  
Looking over Sasami's head Ayeka met Tenchi's concerned and confused gaze. No matter how she taunted Ryoko about Tenchi, she knew he loved her. "Go check on Ryoko," she mouthed to him. He nodded and left the table silently. She sighed in defeat as she knew this was going to be a determining factor in which of them finally would become Tenchi's main concern.  
  
Someone cleared their throat. Ayeka looked towards Yosho and smiled weakly. He tilted his head towards the still crying Washu. Nodding Ayeka stood still holding Sasami and walked out of the room, touching Washu's shoulder as she passed. The room went silent as the sisters left.  
  
"Sit down Washu," Yosho said gently before tugging the woman gently to the floor.  
  
"Yosho, what have I done?" asked the scientist, contemplating the floor between her feet. "Have I completely lost my child? Yosho... I... I... I don't think I can go through that again. I can't. If that happens it will be the third time but so much worse this time. I don't think I can handle it again," she laughed it sounded almost identical to Ryoko's earlier one. "Like I've handled the two previous times well. It won't be someone else taking her from me, it'll be my own actions."  
  
Yosho sat and listened as Washu rambled, he knew she needed it. She had over 5000 hundred years of motherly frustration and grief to deal with, yet she completely avoided the whole reason she was rambling now - Kagato.  
  
Finally she wound down and started playing with the chopsticks and individual grains of rice.  
  
Yosho felt it was time to speak. "Washu how old was Ryoko when Kagato took her? I know it seems a little nosey but that could be some of the problem, besides the ones that Kagato created within her and between the two of you."  
  
Washu looked at him, her eyes revealing her total confusion. "What do you mean?"  
  
"Now think well before you answer," the priest admonished. "Have you ever tried to ask Ryoko why she won't call you mom? At times Washu, you come across as being very demanding."  
  
Washu sat quietly for a moment. "No, I just try to tell her that I expect her to call me that. She's my child."  
  
Yosho clucked his tongue in disapproval. "Listen my dear, don't you think she knows that you're her mother?"  
  
"Then why does she deny it?" Washu threw the chopsticks across the room.  
  
"Washu listen. Listen to me. Have you seen the haunted look she sometimes gets when you play with Taro or Sasami?" Yosho asked, handing Washu a handkerchief which she took gratefully. "Have you ever noticed that the only time you want Ryoko to call you 'mom' is when you need to run an experiment or test a theory you've developed?"  
  
Washu could always get a general sense of how her daughter was feeling through their mental link but she never used it to probe any deeper than she thought was necessary. She could sense her daughter's frustration and sadness; she'd just attributed it to her feelings about Tenchi.  
  
Yosho watched silently. It wasn't very often that anyone in the Masaki household, including Ryoko, ever saw Washu any other way than a 12 year old. Even though she was angry, Ryoko had shown some etiquette when she'd left. Showing that there was more beneath that faÃ§ade than a space pirate, just like there was more than a 12-year-old to Washu. He sensed that Ryoko probably would have said more but on some level she refused to cause further pain.  
  
Yosho had noticed numerous times when he had stayed at the house after dinner that Ryoko would isolate herself. She would be in the room with Tenchi, Ayeka, Sasami, Ryo-Ohki and sometimes Mihoshi but not as a part of the group. She would make snide remarks, as would a true space pirate. She would watch them laugh and joke. He wondered if she tried to understand them. After a while she would start drinking sake, then lay there with half closed eyes and a flushed face until Ayeka made some remark about her being drunk. Then Ryoko would laugh and leave, but whenever Yosho saw her leave she looked completely sober. There was much none of them understood about Ryoko. On the surface she seemed so simple yet beneath it she was as complicated as a ball of tangled thread.  
  
"Come on Washu maybe you need to rest, " Yosho said pulling Washu to her feet and towards her lab.  
  
Washu resisted the movement. "What about Ryoko? I need to check on her."  
  
"Right now it would be better if you both gave each other space, let me talk to Ryoko," Yosho counseled  
  
~~~~~  
  
Tenchi found Ryoko seated on the dock staring at her reflection in the lake. Quietly he sat beside her and watched. Her eyes looked dull and bloodshot, tears still made tracks across her face.  
  
Ryoko opened her mouth to speak, but nothing came out. She closed it again. Tenchi noticed that she was no longer sobbing, but she still had that funny, hiccuppy-sounding breathing pattern some people get after crying for a long period of time. He wasn't going to rush her; she'd never done that to him unless she had no other choice. He knew how she said she felt about him, but she never took it any farther than teasing him until he blushed or Ayeka lost her temper.  
  
"What do you see when you look at me? No don't answer that." Words finally started to come out between the small gasps. "You know, he started out telling me if I killed them it would make the pain go away. At first he'd capture a few random people off a planet and put them in a room. The room was red, always red. I knew this because my whole body would feel as if was on fire. Sometimes I would get to the point where I was throwing up whatever was in my stomach, even the acids in it, or I would pass out. At first I fought."  
  
She paused for a deep breath, then the words poured out, "He would offer me a drug that would help stop the pain. He would give it to me if I killed them. I would still refuse to kill the people, I didn't know why I would refuse but I did..."  
  
~~~~~  
  
"Ryoko look, what's in this syringe will make the fire stop. Just do as I ask." Kagato said kneeling next to the balled up girl on the floor.  
  
The people watched in horror as the man taunted the cyan haired girl who alternated between those awful sounding dry heaves and tears. Yet they could hear her continued denial of what the man wanted. The man had given them some drug that amplified their senses, yet numbed their reflexes. They could smell the tainted, ironish smell that coated the room. The smell of death haunted the red room. They could do nothing to help the child but watch as the man tortured her and pray for a quick death for themselves.  
  
~~~~~  
  
Ryoko shifted her position and watched the expression on Tenchi's reflection in the lake. "In the beginning I used to ask them for forgiveness when I could no longer control my own actions. He would use my body to kill them, not totally though, and then he would release me..."  
  
~~~~~  
  
Ryoko sank to her knees, holding the dying woman with arms covered in the woman's blood. The woman had seen the change come over her killer. She saw when soft, golden orbs, full of self-hatred and horror of what had been done, replaced the red, demonic eyes of the monster. She had seen the glow fade and saw into the girl's soul. The woman raised a bloody hand to her murderess' face. The face held the look of a lost child. "Child where's your mother?" she whispered.  
  
Tears ran down the girl's face. "He said she didn't want me anymore."  
  
"Who?" the woman asked softly as life seeped out of her broken body.  
  
"Him," she whispered.  
  
"Why?" the woman knew her death was close but she waited.  
  
"Momma told me not to hurt people, it's wrong. I've hurt a lot of people. He said she won't forgive me. He said she didn't love me, she couldn't. He said it would make the pain go away. It has only gotten worse. It still hurts. I should be sorry but I don't know how. All I feel is pain... "  
  
The girl stopped talking when the woman places a bloody finger over her lips. "Hush child. What is your name?"  
  
"Ryoko. My name is Ryoko."  
  
"Listen and listen well Ryoko. If you feel pain at what you do, that's being sorry."  
  
"But he..."  
  
"Shh. Listen. Little Ryoko your mother loves you; remember that. A mother will forgive her child even when her child has done great wrong."  
  
"Will you forgive me?" the girl asked, hope showing on her beautiful, bloodstained face. "Why should you forgive me? I've murdered you and your family."  
  
The dying woman smiled. "I see the difference in you and I see you are sitting among the dead, holding the dying. Look around you, you and I are the only ones left. I will forgive you because you asked."  
  
~~~~~  
  
Ryoko threw a small pebble into the water and watched the ripples it made. "The woman had me prop her against a wall. I laid my head on her lap and she sang to me until she died, I didn't move. It reminded me of something I couldn't remember at the time. I closed my eyes and slept until he came back to get me. He knew what happened, he was livid. It was a long time before he allowed me to control my own actions again."  
  
Picking up another stone, she threw it at her reflection. Tenchi took Ryoko's hand and held it between both of his.  
  
Ryoko ignored the contact. "It's strange that I remember that. I'm sleepy suddenly."  
  
"Come back to the house and go to sleep then," he said softly.  
  
Ryoko stood and floated away from him. "No."  
  
"Why not?"  
  
She turned away, still floating above the dock. "Sleep brings nightmares and nightmares brings memories. The thing that makes this so difficult to deal with is that she forgave me. Jurai, to a degree, has forgiven me too but it's worthless. Worthless because I can't and won't forgive myself. I don't feel I should be forgiven. Why should I? What have I done that could be called retribution or atonement?"  
  
"What about Ayeka and me?" Tenchi asked, moving next to Ryoko grabbing her hand again.  
  
"So I saved two lives, both Juraian Nobility, from Kagato. Two versus the uncountable number I murdered."  
  
"What about Washu?" he questioned gently. Ryoko pulled away from Tenchi and stared at the night sky. "What about Washu? Why does she want to claim me, whatever I am? Why should she care?"  
  
"Ryoko," Tenchi said, gently taking her hand again and drawing her to him. "Let me tell you about a woman I know, a woman who lost everything once..."  
  
To be continued  
  
  
  
Notes: Some of this was influenced by different fanfics I have read here and elsewhere.  
  
Thanks to BobR, Krust, and co. for reading and stuff that makes writing fun.  
  
M~ 


	2. chapter 2

Hello once again to those brave souls who venture forth into reading this.  
  
Also you all must Visit BobR and read the stuff as I do and give thanks for such kind soul who are willing to help others.  
  
This was written as collaboration between us.  
  
All characters found in this story belongs to their respective owners, they aren't mine.  
  
Stay tuned for more from me at the end  
  
Chapter 2  
  
Ayeka found herself quietly following Ryoko in the weeks since Ryoko's argument with Washu. She knew that Ryoko knew she was there; she'd discovered this a week ago when Ryoko had set up drinks for two, instead of one during one of her lengthy sojourns to the Onsen.  
  
"Come on out princess. Join me, but there's one condition. Don't expect me to talk about her or anything related to her," the demon's words echoed in Ayeka's head. So the first day had been spent in silence, only broken by the sounds of their movements.  
  
Ayeka settled next to Ryoko in the warm water. She hoped that Ryoko was willing to talk today. Some days she would ask Ryoko a question and pirate would give no response.  
  
"Why here?" Ayeka asked looking around the bath. At first she thought that Ryoko wasn't going to answer. If she didn't answer, the princess wasn't going to force the issue.  
  
"It reminds me of home," Ryoko said into her drink after a long silence.  
  
"The house?"  
  
Ryoko laughed softly. "You think of Tenchi's as home now too? But no, not that home; I mean the cave. In a way each has its shadows, yet there's enough light for me go to if I get nervous. This place has the isolation I'm used to, but it has the freedom I've wanted." She paused for a moment. "Ayeka, what makes you nervous?"  
  
"A lot of things make me nervous Ryoko. Leaving here, the future, Tenchi, and you to name a few. Something more than others; to be honest I think you make me the most nervous."  
  
Ryoko snorted with derision.  
  
"It's true," Ayeka scooted around until she faced Ryoko. "You, in my mind, represent everything that makes me nervous. You're different, you are unknown and I don't know what to expect from you." Pausing, Ayeka studied her drink. "Ryoko I am a princess and I was raised to expect certain things; in return certain things are expected of me. Look at you and me. I expect you to treat me like a princess but you don't. It's just a word to you, a title. You treat me as an equal; at least I hope you do. To you I'm just another person. Yet as the First Princess of Jurai I am expected to hate you because you destroyed my home. But after living with you and getting to know you, I discovered that I couldn't. You had no choices in the actions that were taken in your name or the circumstances that you found yourself in."  
  
"Are you trying to make friends with me? It won't work," Ryoko said looking at Ayeka suspiciously.  
  
"We already are, of a sort. In fact pirate, we are more. Surely even you can see that everyone here is a family. And whatever is going on is hurting our family."  
  
"I told you I wasn't going to talk about it," Ryoko snapped standing up.  
  
"Face the facts Ryoko. You must confront your problems, they will not correct themselves." Ayeka said, following Ryoko to the door of the Onsen.  
  
Pausing, Ryoko turned and looked over her shoulder at Ayeka. "That day of the argument, when Tenchi tried to talk to me by the lake..."  
  
"Yes, go on." Ayeka said gently hoping that Ryoko would continue.  
  
"He told me how Washu acted with little Taro; what... what... she said about motherhood. Ayeka... she's never acted like that with me, or if she did I don't remember it. No one's ever been like that to me."  
  
"I understand. But why should this bother you about Washu?" Ayeka asked as she stopped just inside of Ryoko's personal space.  
  
"She wants me to act like her daughter. I may be just that biologically, but I don't feel like it. She treats me like an experiment."  
  
"She treats us all that way," Ayeka chuckled. "Particularly Tenchi, yet he tolerates it from her."  
  
"Tenchi's too nice for his own damn good," Ryoko said going back to her drink. "He doesn't want to hurt anyone's feelings. I mean, how would you feel if he walked up to you and said `Princess, I love Ryoko, but you can stay as long as you like'? I know exactly how I would feel if it were me."  
  
"I see your point. But tell me, what does all this have to do with you and Washu?"  
  
Ayeka watched as Ryoko paused in refilling her now empty cup. Suddenly the bottle became airborne and shattered against the door.  
  
"Everything; nothing; I don't know," Ryoko whispered.  
  
Ayeka felt a lump forming in her throat; she hated seeing Ryoko like this. She wanted to wrap Ryoko up in her arms as she did Sasami, but she didn't know how Ryoko would take it. "Perhaps you should talk to my brother. I know you avoid him because of what happened 700 years ago, but he harbors no ill will toward you. He has dealt with things like this before."  
  
Ryoko stared off into nothingness for a moment, then her head drooped down to her chest. "Thank you for listening Ayeka, but I think I want to be alone for a while now."  
  
Ayeka sighed as she watched Ryoko fade from view.  
  
~~~~~  
  
The pirate rematerialized on her favorite branch in a grove of cherry trees. Too bad, it's not spring, she thought as she looked at the greenery surrounding her. When these trees are in bloom it's really pretty here. But at least I'm alone for now. Well, not totally alone; if they want me, they know where I am.   
  
She stretched out on the limb and her golden eyes lost focus as she began to consider what was troubling her. Here she could relax and think without interruptions, even though they were well meant ones. Perhaps the princess was right, maybe talking to the old man would help. After all, as a priest he must have dealt with things like this before. Anyway, it really wasn't as peaceful and calming out here without the blossoms. Her sense of smell had become a well-used skill. She faded from her perch.  
  
~~~~~  
  
Ryoko steeled her nerve and knocked gently on the door panel. There was a lump in her throat. Maybe he's with Tenchi she thought, easing backwards unconsciously. She heard movement from inside then the door slid back revealing the old priest. She stared and him. His expression grew thoughtful as he saw whom it was, but it wasn't totally unexpected either, after all, the girl had spoken to his grandson and sister so he was the next logical choice.  
  
"What a surprise, what can I do for you Ryoko?" Yosho said, bowing slightly.  
  
Ryoko stood in the doorway of the shrine office and played with her lip between her teeth. Maybe this wasn't such a good idea after all. Maybe if she sat in the grove long enough the answer would come to her. She sighed mentally, she had listened to Tenchi and Ayeka say how good Yosho was about giving advice, but she really wasn't that sure if she wanted to talk to him.  
  
"Please come in," Yosho knew what was troubling the girl, but he wondered if she was willing to talk to him about it. Ryoko reminded him of her mother as she stood there thinking. Both had very faces that showed what was going through their minds when they were deep in thought, or trying to get out of something that made them uncomfortable.  
  
"You... you look busy I can come back later," Ryoko stuttered, starting to turn away.  
  
Yosho reached out and put a gentle hand on her shoulder. "Ryoko come in and talk with me."  
  
Turning back to him, she returned his bow and reluctantly did as she was asked.  
  
~~~~~  
  
Washu looked up at the sound of a knock at her door. For a moment she sat considering whether or not she should open it. She thought about the other times when someone actually knocked at her door and when the members of the Masaki household had come to her since her argument with her daughter. With a heart heavy sigh she got up to see whom it was.  
  
"Washu, am I disturbing you?" the old priest asked with a hint of concern.  
  
Washu smiled sadly at Yosho. She took a deep breath. "What did she say?" Washu watched Yosho's face to get come clue as to her daughter's response to her request through Yosho.  
  
"I'm sorry Washu but--"  
  
Wilting back onto her cushion she closed her eyes. "It's all right. Thanks for trying though."  
  
Yosho looked at the woman who sat dejectedly in the chair in front of him. Her usual bright aura was dull and lost in her present state of being. Sadness surrounded her like a well-worn dress. "Washu how long have you been hiding out in here?"  
  
She shrugged and refused to open her eyes.  
  
Yosho shook his head. "It's not the end of everything you know. If she won't accept you as her mother, at least let her accept you as her friend."  
  
Tears formed around Washu's closed lids. "So I lose her again, only this time it really is my fault. Me and my stupid comments. But you're right, I'm still here and so's she. Tell Sasami I'll be there for dinner tonight."  
  
Yosho nodded, unseen, and turned to leave. When Washu heard the door close, she sighed heavily then reluctantly, very reluctantly, shut down her mental link with her daughter. The tears began to flow freely.  
  
Ryoko, sitting on one of Funaho's roots, head buried in her hands suddenly sat bolt upright. Something was gone, some comforting presence she'd felt all her life. She suddenly felt incomplete, she began to moan and shake violently. Suddenly she flickered out only to reappear in the living room, startling the princess who had been sitting on the couch reading.  
  
"Ryoko, what's wrong?" Ayeka asked, noticing the wild-eyed look on Ryoko's face. The only reply was a low moan. "Tenchi!" she yelled, "Something's wrong with Ryoko!" She saw that the pirate was beginning to sweat profusely.  
  
At that moment Yosho exited from Washu's lab. He saw his sister standing there with a concerned look on her face and Ryoko with her arms wrapped around herself, moaning and starting to pace. He rushed over to the girl only to be violently pushed away.  
  
Tenchi had rushed down stairs when he heard Ayeka's call. He looked around the room seeing his grandfather standing near the door to Washu's lab and Ayeka by the couch. Both were watching Ryoko, but not going near her. He started toward the pirate only to be stopped as his grandfather reached out and touched him lightly. He looked back at the old man, who just shook his head.  
  
~~~~~  
  
Ryoko paced the width of the room. Her hair was plastered to her skull and her clothes to her body. She gripped her elbows until blood welled up from beneath her nails. Her eyes burned and her throat hurt. She could feel Ayeka, Tenchi and Yosho watching her.  
  
Groaning, Ryoko dropped Indian style to the floor. Her hands went to her hair and pulled. She couldn't sense Washu anymore and it scared her. She closed her eyes and memories long ignored pushed their way to the surface. The first time she had felt this frightened was when she realized that her mother wasn't with her, that she was alone with a power hungry madman. Suddenly she couldn't get enough air and began gasping. She heard whimpering. It was strange; who ever it was, they sounded so lost. Slowly she realized the wounded-sounding whimpering was coming from her own throat; tears slipped from beneath her closed lids.  
  
"Help me," she whispered to no one in particular.  
  
========  
  
AN: Whatcha think are you interested? Review  
  
I remembered these four songs, and I thought they would make a good song fics, thus a song fic challenge. I thought why not let others read the songs and see what they can do with them. I myself might try to do one. On to the songs:  
  
When Can I See You Again  
  
By Babyface  
  
When can my heart beat again  
  
When does the pain ever end  
  
When do the tears stop from running over  
  
When does "you'll get over it" begin  
  
I hear what you're saying  
  
But I swear that it's not making sense  
  
So when can I see you  
  
When can I see you again  
  
When can my heart beat again  
  
When can I see you again  
  
When can I breathe once again  
  
And when can I see you  
  
When does my "someday" begin  
  
When I'll find someone again  
  
And what if I still am not truly over  
  
What am I supposed to do then, babe...  
  
Do you see what I'm saying  
  
Even if, if it's not making sense  
  
So when can I see you  
  
When can I see you again  
  
When can my heart beat again  
  
When can I see you again  
  
And when can I breathe once again  
  
And when can I see you...again  
  
Yeah, baby  
  
Do you see what I'm saying  
  
Even if, if it's not making sense, baby  
  
So when can I see you again  
  
When can I see you again  
  
Can my heart beat again, baby  
  
When can I see you again  
  
And when can I breathe once again  
  
And when can I see, babe, again  
  
Wanna see you again  
  
Again...  
  
Babyface  
For the Cool in You (1993)  
For the Cool in You  
written by Babyface, Daryl Simmons (1993)  
Here we go round and round and round  
And back and forth you know  
Everybody goes through it sometime  
And that's just the way it flows  
So we go up and down and up  
And in and out the door  
Even thought you know you've been through it before  
For every argument that we've experienced  
It's nice to know that you've remained composed  
And I wanna thank you for the chill in you  
Especially for you being so cool  
This for the cool in you  
Cool in you, cool in  
This for the chill in you  
Cool in you, cool, cool, cool, cool  
This for you cool in you  
Cool in you, cool in  
This for the chill in you  
Cool in you, cool, cool, cool, cool  
Looking on back at all the changes  
That I put you through  
Any other girl in your position  
Sho-nuff would've been through  
Thinkin' about how you made it easy  
Always there for me  
Never once did you turn your back and leave  
For every tear you've cried, I've cried a thousand times  
Never once did I want you to hurt inside  
I wanna thank you for the chill in you  
Especially for you being so cool  
This is for the cool in you  
HOOK  
For every tear you've cried, I've cried a thousand times  
Never once did I want you to hurt inside  
I wanna thank you for the chill in you  
Especially for you being so cool  
This is for the cool in you  
HOOK (repeat to fade)  
  
Toni Braxton  
Toni Braxton (1993)  
You Mean the World to Me  
If you could give me one good reason  
Why I should believe you  
Believe in all the things that you tell  
I would sure like to believe you  
My heart wants to receive you  
Just make me know that you are sincere  
You know I'd love for you to lead me  
And follow thru completely  
So won't you give me all I ask for  
And if you give your very best  
To bring me happiness  
I'll show you just how much I adore you  
Cause you mean the world to me  
You are my everything  
I swear the only thing that matters  
Matters to me  
Oh baby, baby, baby, baby,  
Baby, cause you mean so much  
To me  
Now it's gonna take some workin'  
But I believe you're worth it  
Long as your intentions are good  
So good  
There is just one way to show it  
And boy I hope you know it  
That no one could love you like I could  
Lord knows I want to trust you  
And always how I'd love you  
I'm not sure if love is enough  
And I will not be forsaken  
And I hope there's no mistakin'  
So tell me that you'll always be true  
Cause you mean the world to me  
You are my everything  
I swear the only thing that matters  
Matters to me  
Oh baby, baby, baby, baby,  
Baby, cause you mean so much  
To me  
There's a feeling in my heart  
That I know I can't escape  
So please don't let me fall  
Don't let it be too late  
There's a time when words are good  
And they just get in the way  
So show me how you feel  
Baby I'm for real  
Oh, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby  
Cause you mean the world to me  
You are my everything  
I swear the only thing that matters  
Matters to me  
Oh baby, baby, baby, baby,  
Baby, cause you mean so much  
To me  
  
Toni Braxton  
Toni Braxton (1993)  
How Many Ways  
Must have been heaven sent to me  
Cause I never knew love like this  
You know you make me feel  
So good inside and boy,  
It's a feeling I just can't hide  
And baby words can't express my gratitude  
For each and every little thing you do  
I want to understand  
You're all the man  
That I love and I know  
That I need and I want and more  
Baby let me count the ways  
How many ways, I love you  
Let me count the ways  
How many ways, I love you  
Let me cont the ways  
You know you're so very special to me my baby  
I'll never let you go  
When I'm with you  
I feel so free I could count  
From 1 up to 99 and still believe  
Although sometimes now baby  
We disagree  
There ain't never or will  
ever be another love for me  
And I want you to know I appreciate  
All the things that you do when you do  
What you do for me  
Darling let me count the ways  
How many ways, I love you  
Let me count the ways  
How many ways, I love you  
Let me cont the ways  
1, 2 I love you  
3, 4 So much more  
5, 6 I can't get enough of this  
7 let me show you my love  
And take you to heaven  
8, 9, 10 let me start love  
Over and over. . .again 


	3. chapter 3

Hello again, the characters are not mine they are property of some one else's mind ^-^  
  
I hope you enjoy. Thanks to BobR, be cool and read his stuff. Notes at end. Happy Reading!!!  
  
^_^ ^_^  
  
  
  
Yosho knelt next to the distraught pirate. "Ryoko what's wrong?" he asked gently, moving slowly he detangle Ryoko's fingers from her hair. Ryoko gave no response to his inquiry. Yosho held Ryoko's arms away for a moment before she suddenly began to feebly struggle. He could hear her muttering but he could make out what she was saying. Just as suddenly as she had started struggling, she stopped, but she did continue to whisper. She had gone limp against him her face hidden. Looking up Yosho met his sister's concerned and frightened gaze.  
  
"Ayeka would you go get a blanket for me?" the priest asked.  
  
Ayeka nodded, grateful for something even minimally constructive to do instead of standing there watching. Yosho didn't look to see if Ayeka did as he asked, instead he focused back on Ryoko. Seeing that she wasn't moving, he looked at his grandson.  
  
"I'll get Little Washu," Tenchi said before turning towards Washu's lab.  
  
Yosho smiled. When needed, Tenchi could be a very decisive young man, except where females were concerned. Yosho looked down at the pirate in his arms. At one point he had wanted her dead. Now he had learned the importance of knowledge, knowledge of what and whom you fight. He prayed that he had helped his hodgepodge family learn that lesson sooner than it had taken him to. Sometimes he felt as if nothing he said or did was getting through to his family. His talk with Ryoko shown him differently, his advice was heard and even practiced at times for Ryoko had told him that Ayeka and Tenchi both had suggested that she should talk to him.  
  
"Washu? Washu where are you?"  
  
Washu looked up at the sound of Tenchi's voice echoing in the lab.  
  
"What is it Tenchi?" she asked as her chair appeared in front of him.  
  
Tenchi stared in open-mouthed shock at the guan, pale, blood–shot eyed woman with an aura of utter desolation that sat in the chair. He is a little unnerved by the sight. Washu crying was one thing this was completely different, somehow this image just did not sit right. He snapped his mouth closed and swallowed, he was wasting time. Grabbing her hands he pulled her and her chair towards the door.  
  
"Tenchi where are you taking me?" Washu asked allowing Tenchi to pull her along.  
  
"To the front room. Something is wrong with Ryoko."  
  
The chair stopped and Tenchi stumbled. "What are you talking about?"  
  
"I don't know, I just know that there is something wrong with Ryoko."  
  
The chair disappeared, Washu was rushing towards the door, "What happened?"  
  
"She was pacing when I came into the room, then she dropped to the floor sweating and muttering to herself. Grandpa is with her. He sent Ayeka to get a blanket."  
  
Washu's mind raced through the things and possibilities that could have resulted in this. Washu is stilled in horror at the sight before her. Tenchi stood silent at her shoulder. Both Yosho and Ayeka were holding Ryoko. Ryoko laid between the two wrapped in a blanket shivering. Her eyes were glazed, drool gathered in the crease of her lips and her head was facing Washu's lab.  
  
Washu felt as if her heart had stopped, what had happened to her child? Should feel her breathing increase until she felt as if she was hyperventilating. She wanted to go to her child but her body was rooted to where she stood. She had to go to her daughter. All she had to do was to take one step. Then she'd be free of this sudden paralization. Her hand went to her mouth as she stepped forward. Washu was unsure of how she had gotten there but her step she was kneeling next to Ryoko.  
  
Ayeka had moved to Yosho's side. Ayeka was startled by the changes in Washu. She had seen her parents' wear an expression almost identical to the one Washu wore now. It had been when Yosho had left. Her parents had changed; her world had been altered beyond her comphrension.  
  
Washu had taken Ryoko's face in her hands and ignored the other in the room. She held Ryoko's face and was staring into Ryoko's eyes when Ayeka had shook off her own memories. Tears had begun to trickle down Washu's face. Ayeka watched as Washu laid Ryoko's head back onto Yosho shoulder and closed Ryoko's eyes with a trembling hand. Washu sat back on her heels and closed her eyes, "I can't find it."  
  
"What can't you find?" Yosho asked looking at Washu. None notice the portal that opened at Washu's hip.  
  
Emerald eyes wore a sheen of wetness and fear, "Our link. I can't find our Link," she answered in a whisper.  
  
Suddenly Ryoko's eyes flew open and her head snapped towards Washu then they closed slowly.  
  
The rest of the room's occupants spotted what Washu held in her hand.  
  
"Ms. Washu what are you doing?"  
  
Removing the syringe from Ryoko's arm she threw it into a sub dimensional portal before answering. She prayed that what she had done would ease the chaos she had met when she had tried to re-establish the link. "It was the only way to calm her down. Her mind," Washu touched Ryoko's cheek gently, "is working overtime and she needs the rest, thus the mild sedative."  
  
"Washu why, what caused this? Why was Ryoko so upset?" Ayeka asked staring at Washu and her rival.  
  
"Yosho would you mind bringing her into the lab.  
  
  
  
* * *  
  
Washu tentatively reached out and push her daughter's hair away from her face. Such innocence in sleep, she thought. Washu had spent the last two days upgrading a machine she never had wanted to use or even make. She snorted before leaning back in her seat. Long ago she had created a reputation for herself that was hard to change. Washu the scientist would take and create anything that anyone could come up with a plausible theory to support. It started with dares, which she soon developed a habit of not refusing. Washu had seen it as a challenge to her intellect and her skills to occupy her time when she was not actively with Ryoko.  
  
Washu looked at the machine on the opposite side of Ryoko's bed. When she had taken the dare to create it, most of her colleagues and her students hadn't known about Ryoko. Washu smiled, having such a large lab had its advantages.  
  
It had taken the words of a child for her to realize that making the machine wasn't one the smartest things she had done.  
  
######  
  
"What's that?"  
  
"It's another one of mommy's machines." Washu had answered absently. Washu knew that the child would come no closer than the three feet. She had done her best to get the child to understand that she shouldn't mess with any of Mommy's Machines. Smiling she continued to adjust the numbers that appeared on the screen in front of her.  
  
"What's it do?"  
  
"It can alter the way someone remembers something, it also allows others to enter the mind of someone else. It put two minds onto the same wavelength."  
  
"Why?"  
  
"Someone said that Mommy couldn't create a machine that would be capable of doing something like this."  
  
"Why?"  
  
"They don't think it possible."  
  
"Why?"  
  
Washu laughed and looked at the grinning child. "I think that's a little too complicated to explain that to you right now dear, ask me again in a few years, all right."  
  
The child nodded. "Will you use it?"  
  
"Not likely. I don't like the idea of playing with people's minds."  
  
"Why build it then?"  
  
######  
  
Many times in the years since then Washu had wondered exactly the same thing. But now she had a need for such a device. She uttered a small prayer of thanks to the long forgotten colleague that had theorized the principle behind it. She was also glad she had never destroyed the prototype after proving that it could work. Soon the machine would be put to the use it was intended for; it would allow a person to enter the mind of another. Someone would use this machine to enter her daughter's mind and try to fix whatever had gone wrong. The question was who?  
  
There were three possibilities: she could do it herself; after all, she was familiar with the operation of the machine and certainly familiar with the structure of Ryoko's mind. At least her mind before Kagato. But given the feelings Ryoko had for her right now, she might do more harm than good.  
  
Then there was Ayeka. Ryoko surely trusted the princess on some basic level. She certainly hadn't killed her yet, although she'd always had the power to do it. And Ayeka'd proven her willingness to help Ryoko on more than one occasion too. However, the two were exact opposites personality- wise and tended to incite one another to violence. No, perhaps Ayeka wouldn't be the best choice, but she'd keep an open mind where the princess was concerned.  
  
Tenchi. Yes, Tenchi was the perfect choice. Washu knew that Ryoko loved him with all her heart and she was pretty sure that Tenchi felt the same about her daughter. The problem was, he also felt the same about the princess and that's where the conflict was. Tenchi's conflict, Ryoko's conflict, Ayeka's conflict and now Washu's conflict too.  
  
She looked down at her daughter and gently smiled. Parents were supposed to help their children, not hurt them. It'd been so long since she'd tried to be a parent that she'd forgotten what it was like; she'd hurt her daughter unintentionally. Not physically, not at first; but emotionally. And the physical hurt, also unintentional, came afterwards.  
  
* * *  
  
"Ms. Washu what am I supposed to be looking for?"  
  
"Missing pieces," she answered as she set up different monitors around Ryoko.  
  
"Huh?" Tenchi stood in the middle of the lab in a squared off area.  
  
"Missing pieces Tenchi."  
  
"Ms. Washu what are you talking about? I'm confused."  
  
Pausing Washu turned to look at Tenchi, she sighed. "I'm sorry Tenchi I'm a little stressed at the moment." Standing she went and stood next to him and stared at Ryoko's still form. "Her mind; no, her memory has become a puzzle I think. I know things are missing or misplaced but there's nothing I can do about it or how to tell you to fix it just try…"  
  
* * *  
  
Tenchi lay on the gurney next to Ryoko, holding her hand while Washu made some last-minute adjustments to her machine. He looked over at the princess who stood anxiously looking on a few feet away, outside the area Washu had marked off as a safety zone. She gave him a weak smile.  
  
"Ok, I'm about ready here," Washu called. "Ayeka, make sure you're well back, we don't want you to be sent too." The diminutive scientist turned to Tenchi. "Remember, you can't come back until the process is complete. Then I'll bring you and Ryoko back together. And also remember that her memories will seem real to you. It's possible to you to get hurt in there and if you die in there… Well, let's just say that the part of you that remains out here won't survive either."  
  
Tenchi swallowed nervously. "I understand Washu. I'll be careful."  
  
"I know you will. Just bring my daughter back." Washu gave him a wink and turned back to the control panel. "Here we go…"  
  
She flipped a switch and the lights dimmed. A glow descended from the ceiling and covered the two. It extended until it encompassed everything within the marked circle. But it didn't stop there. Ayeka's eyes widened as the glow rapidly approached her. She tried to take a step back but it was too late. Washu whirled as she heard the princess' unconscious body hit the floor with a thud. Damn it. I should have tested the extent of the field first. Now they're both in there. I hope they all make it back out all right.   
  
* * *  
  
Tenchi opened his eyes and looked around. In the semi-darkness he had to wait for his eyes to adjust before he could make out any details. He heard someone calling his name. "Ryoko?" he called back. It didn't sound like her; it sounded more like "Ayeka!" he yelled as the princess' figure materialized from the gloom. "Why would Ryoko be thinking about you?" he asked as she drew near.  
  
"She's not, it is me. Washu was a few feet off in her safety estimate, I got drawn in as well." The princess sighed heavily and her shoulders drooped. "I should have expected something like this to happen. Oh well, at least you won't have to face this alone."  
  
Tenchi held out his hand for the princess to take. "We might as well get started," he said, looking around. "The light seems brighter over that way, let's go."  
  
* * *  
  
"Her mind's become a puzzle, Tenchi, you must put the pieces back together." Washu's words danced around in Tenchi's head as he and Ayeka looked around in fascination. Everywhere there were puzzle pieces, all shapes and sizes. "Ms. Washu you don't know how right you were."  
  
"My goddess what is this?" Ayeka whispered.  
  
"It was easier to hide this way," both Tenchi and Ayeka turned at the sound of another voice. They looked at the voice's owner in shock. She was identical to Washu in her 12-year-old form in everyway possible except for having golden colored eyes instead of emerald and cyan locks were in the place of the dark magenta. The Little Washu they knew could be this child's twin, but she wasn't.  
  
"Ryoko?" Ayeka looked at the little girl in confusion.  
  
"For a while I was," she smiled sadly, "maybe someday I will be again."  
  
The look of sadness she wore had no right being on a child, Tenchi thought as he started at Little Ryoko. She slowly started to fade away.  
  
"Wait how can we help," he asked gesturing to the puzzle pieces surrounding them.  
  
The child smiled and pointed to Ayeka," Hold up your hand."  
  
Ayeka did as the child asked. In her hand lay a puzzle piece with the child's face on it slightly faded.  
  
"Put me back together. The more you have the more you learn. At least that's what momma says," with a shrug the child faded away completely. Both Tenchi and Ayeka looked at the puzzle piece in her hand. The image of Little Ryoko had brightened.  
  
  
  
Author Notes- Thanks to Bobr again, We did goood ^_^ Collaboration is fuuuunnn ^_^  
  
Thanks to you reviewers, I'll try to answer next chapter ^_^ 


	4. chapter 4

Here it is. Sorry it took so long. I haven't had access to a computer in awhile and I needed to write some stuff. Disclamer: I don't own any of the characters or the original plotline. Ummm I think that covers everything. Oh yeah: Bobr is cool!!!!! More notes at the end. Happy reading M~  
  
Chapter 4  
  
Yosho watched as Washu paced back and forth. He glanced at the three medical beds that were set up just to his left. All three of the occupants looked as if they were in a deep, relaxing sleep. A sleeping Sasami was curled up next to her sister with a twitching Ryo-ohki above her head.  
  
When he had walked into Washu's lab nearly two hours ago the scientist had just realized that Ayeka had been pulled in to Ryoko's mind along with Tenchi. She had looked at him with horror; after all, his sister had been pulled into her daughter's mind after she had been told that she would be safe where she stood. Washu had babbled an apology as she began to type furiously at her laptop. Screens of data popped up around her as she searched for a way to bring Ayeka back. Washu had started questioning her actions and her machine.  
  
"Washu. Washu," Yosho sighed as he grabbed Washu's shoulder and covered her mouth. "Washu you made an error, you can fix it. Now how long are they going to be there?" he asked removing his hand.  
  
"I'm not sure, maybe a few hours; maybe a few days."  
  
"So you have plenty of time to fix it. Now, when was the last time you slept?"  
  
Washu shrugged noncommittally.  
  
"Maybe if you sleep on it for a little while you'll come up with an idea."  
  
"But," Washu started while gesturing towards the three occupied beds.  
  
"They will be fine. You need sleep and if anything changes I will wake you up, all right?" Yosho's face was stern as he stood looking at Washu. Washu could tell from his body language that it was no use arguing with him. With a sigh she hit a button on her laptop and another bed appeared.  
  
Washu smiled a smile that didn't quite reach her eyes. "In some respects I guess I'm like my daughter. We don't give up until we get what we want."  
  
"You'll think better with a clear head Washu now go to sleep."  
  
"All right," the scientist replied, climbing into the bed with droopy eyelids. "But remind me when I wake up, I think I can modify the machine so we can watch what happens." Within seconds she was sound asleep.  
  
* * *  
  
"There are so many pieces. Where do we begin?" Ayeka asked after the two of them had been wandering around for a little while examining the pieces.  
  
"The little pieces are easier to deal with I think. Unless you want to tackle the big ones first?" came a voice from about waist level.  
  
Ayeka looked down, Little Ryoko stood next to her. The little girl grinned impishly. Tiny fangs glinted in the dimly lit area.  
  
"You're back again." Said Ayeka  
  
"Oh wow princess, you really missed me." The little demon replied, her smile growing.  
  
Ayeka looked at the little girl more closely. This time she was dressed almost identical to what she had seen her younger sister Sasami wear. "Would you mind tell me the reason you're dressed liked that?"  
  
She pointed at Ayeka's foot, "You stepped on a piece and here I am." She held her arms in a sweeping gesture.  
  
Ayeka then noticed that they were now in a field of flowers. A pole decorated with ribbons was off to their left. To her right there was a blanket spread out on the ground, it was covered with covered dishes.  
  
"What is this?" Ayeka asked spinning around slowly.  
  
"It's my birthday party. I told momma that I wanted a party and she said she would give me one fit for a princess. Would you like to come? I'll share my cake with you, but you can't have any of the presents though."  
  
Ayeka smiled down at the little girl as she pulled her towards the blanket. Ayeka allowed the child to pull her along. It was strange; she was being invited to the birthday party of her rival. Suddenly she frowned, would this change Ryoko's memory of this day?"  
  
"Maybe, maybe not," said the child. "Not all of these are real memories, some are just wishful thinking."  
  
Ayeka stopped and looked at the grinning girl next to her. She had seen that same expression on Sasami's face when she was up to no good. "Okay, so you can hear me?"  
  
"Of course I can Princess, you're in my head." Came a much deeper voice. Ayeka stood wide-eyed as a ghostly older Ryoko seemed to appear just behind the child Ryoko. She could feel her eyes crossing.  
  
"You know that expressions makes you look really cute you know," said the older version with a grin  
  
Ayeka growled. Little Ryoko giggled and Ryoko's grin widened as she faded away.  
  
"You sit here. I'm going to play with the ribbons. I like ribbons"  
  
Stunned, Ayeka did as she was asked and watched as Ryoko ran towards the pole.  
  
Ayeka nearly fell over when a black portal appeared next to her. Brightly decorated boxes with bows and paper floated out followed by a bright magenta head and green eyes. They looked directly at Ayeka but didn't see her.  
  
"Where is that child? I hope she stayed by the pole like I asked her too." Washu muttered as she too floated up out of the hole. As soon as her feet were on solid ground the portal closed.  
  
Washu pulled out a rolled up paper and shook it out. Then she removed a pen from her hair. Chewing on the pen she looked at the paper. "Okay let see, ribbon pole-check, food-check, flowers-check, presents-check," she paused and looked around. "I feel as if I'm forgetting something important."  
  
Sticking the pencil back in her hair and the list in her pocket, the adult Washu knelt and began checking each item on the blanket separately. Ice cream, noisemakers, carrots, I don't understand how she came to like those things she thought as she shifted things around.  
  
Let's see open box with holes in it, cake box, tea; Washu's mind ground to a halt and rewound. An open box with holes in it, oh goddess.  
  
"Ryoko have you been in my closet today?"  
  
Ryoko turned at the sound of her mother's voice. "Nope," she answered before she started winding the ribbons around the pole again.  
  
"You're such a good girl Ryoko." Washu turned back to the gifts. "Oh boy, I have a small problem now don't I?" Washu muttered before she opened the portal again.  
  
"Where could that little monster gotten to?" Washu turned back to Ryoko, "Ryoko I need to go back to the lab for something, do you want to go back with me or do you want to stay here?"  
  
"Can I stay here, I won't go anywhere."  
  
For a moment Washu debated with herself before she sighed. "All right then, I'm going to turn up your link. If I need you to come back you can call me, all right?"  
  
"Okay mommy." Ryoko answered absently as she continued to make patterns with the gold, magenta, cyan, green, purple, and red ribbons around the pole.  
  
Little Ryoko played with the pole until she was sure that her mother was gone before she ran back to the blanket. Her eyes were bright with happiness and she saw the pile of presents and goodies. She could almost taste the ice cream.  
  
She was distracted from her contemplation of the ice cream as the cake box suddenly twitched. At first she ignored it, maybe it was the wind. But it moved again. It soon moved until it was completely separate from the pile. Moving slowly Ryoko began to follow the box.  
  
"Ryoko what are you doing?" Both Ryoko and the box jumped at the sound of Washu voice.  
  
"It was moving," Ryoko whispered, her eyes were still on the box.  
  
"What was moving Little Ryoko?"  
  
"The cake mommy."  
  
Suddenly Washu's hair and eyes appeared just behind the box. "This box Ryoko?"  
  
Ryoko nodded.  
  
Ever so slowly Washu reached up and grabbed the box. "Okay I'm to take this back to the lab and check it out. I don't remember anything about moving cakes."  
  
Ryoko blinked as her mother and the box disappeared. "Mommy wait, what was in the box?" She looked around at the dishes and the presents.  
  
"Mommy?"  
  
"Yes dear?" Green eyes peered up at golden ones.  
  
"Where's my guests?"  
  
Washu snapped her fingers in consternation. "Oh my, I knew there was something missing. I'll be back with them as soon as I check this box out okay?" she muttered before disappearing again.  
  
Ryoko shrugged and wandered back to her ribbon pole.  
  
* * *  
  
The party scene faded and Ayeka stooped to pick up the piece she'd stepped on. She carefully put it in its place then turned to Tenchi who was still standing next to her. "Did you.?" she asked hesitantly.  
  
He nodded, eyes wide. "Yes, but I wonder why I wasn't part of the setting?"  
  
* * *  
  
Back in Washu's lab, she and Yosho watched on a monitor as events unfolded. The red head scratched her head and muttered, "Funny, I don't remember that ever happening."  
  
Yosho, eyes still on the image of Tenchi and his sister replied quietly, "If I understand correctly, Ryoko was born fully an adult without a childhood of her own. Perhaps this is her way of compensating for the missing experiences."  
  
"You know, you could be right. I wonder what else she's come up with?"  
  
* * *  
  
Tenchi and the princess stood watching as Ryoko and she fought over something petty. It seemed as if both of them had no concern for anything around them except the fight.  
  
When the scene was over Ayeka turned to Tenchi, "It's very distressing to watch the damage that the two of us created over something so simple as an insult or what we assumed was an insult."  
  
Tenchi shrugged. "You know, in some of those fights I would try to tell you what actually happened but you wouldn't listen to me and after a while I just stopped trying to say anything."  
  
Ayeka looked at Tenchi in confusion, "What do you mean? Are you saying that I ignored you?"  
  
"What he's trying to say princess is that yes, you do, but Tenchi's too nice to say it to your face. Most of the time I found my fights with you to be fun, a way to blow off some steam. You're so easy to upset you know." A pre-teen Ryoko stood there holding out the puzzle piece. "See even now you're getting angry"  
  
The transparent adult image of an adult Ryoko grinned as the younger version faded out.  
  
"You've reached one crossroads, do you want to continue with the little pieces are try tackling a big one?" The grin had left the adult Ryoko's face; it had been replaced with a serious face that both Ayeka and Tenchi recognized.  
  
"What do you mean?" Ayeka asked  
  
"Every piece has a purpose, but so far you've only seen some of the little things. There are bigger things; you have the choice if you want to try them now or wait."  
  
"Will it help if we tackle some of the bigger ones now?" Tenchi asked  
  
Ryoko shrugged. "Probably as much as the little ones did, maybe, maybe not," she said before walking over to where the partly finished puzzle hung suspended. The pieces started out really small and progressed in size. Not all of the small pieces had been placed in their correct place.  
  
Sighing Ryoko looked over her shoulder at Tenchi and Ayeka, "You know sometimes there are things about yourself that will help someone else. What you think are keys to someone else's mind just might fit the lock on your own."  
  
Ayeka looked at Ryoko in confusion. "What are you talking about Ryoko?"  
  
Ryoko smiled sadly. "You've chosen."  
  
"Chosen what Ryoko?" Tenchi asked looking back and forth be the puzzle, "Is there.are we supposed to be choosing?"  
  
"The choice has been made." Ryoko answered her blade flaring in to existence. She whirled and parried an attack by Kagato then appeared to shrink a few inches and took up a defensive stance.  
  
"No, you worthless piece of garbage," Kagato yelled as he lunged at her. "Haven't you learned anything from my lessons? Attack! Kill! Nothing can allow you to be swayed from your goal. Injuries are secondary!"  
  
The young Ryoko managed to block his blow and deflected his sword into the ground. She made a half-hearted attack that was easily turned aside. As she recovered, Kagato swept his blade around and through her guard. The energy blade flared as it made contact with her sword arm just below the shoulder and cleanly severed the limb. Ryoko's own sword fizzled out as she hit the floor in pain. She screamed in agony and tears poured from her eyes as she looked imploringly at her master. Not surprisingly there was very little blood.  
  
Kagato sneered as he touched his blade to Ryoko's throat. "No, I won't kill you, no matter how much you want me too. Now get up and go to your room. Regenerate your arm, we'll try again tomorrow; maybe now you'll follow my advice." His blade disappeared and he turned on his heel and stalked out of the room. As he left the lights dimmed, leaving Ryoko sobbing on the floor, clutching the stump of her arm.  
  
Tenchi looked down at his hand to find a large puzzle piece. He glanced up at the ghostly jigsaw hanging past the sobbing Ryoko and steeling his courage he strode past her to place the piece in its correct position. Then he knelt by the injured pirate and put his arm around her. He felt rather than heard Ayeka move up beside him and crouch down to touch her sometimes-friend as well.  
  
Ryoko looked up at the two of them and gave a weak smile. "I'm sorry you guys had to see that, but it's a part of me. Not very pleasant but still there." She stood up, once again her usual self, arm restored. "As unpleasant as that was, there's worse to come."  
  
Yosho glanced away from the screen to where Washu was sitting, tears flowing freely. "You really didn't know, did you?" he asked softly. The scientist shook her head negatively and wiped her eyes on her sleeve. The old priest sighed and turned back to the screen.  
  
Ayeka knew if she looked in a mirror she would have red, bloodshot, puffy eyes, her nose would be red, and her face tear stained. She turned to the young man standing next to her. "Tenchi I'm not sure how much more of this I can stand, and I have a feeling Ryoko has been trying to spare us some pieces of her past."  
  
"You know Princess, some things are said to be better when left hidden."  
  
The purple haired girl spun around. Ryoko was leaning against a fence that looked like the one in the onsen. Turning back to Tenchi she found that he was no longer there.  
  
"Ryoko where's Tenchi?" Ayeka asked looking back at Ryoko.  
  
"I don't want him to see this Princess, so I've excluded him from this memory. This is for you and you alone. Watch," she answered and pointed.  
  
A Ryoko that looked about 13 or 14 was kneeling in the moist earth. Smudges of dirt decorated her face, arms and hands. You could tell the girl had been crying by the tracks the tears had made on her dirty face. Her eyes were bloodshot and her hands trembled as she patted the dirt.  
  
"Ryoko, what are you doing?"  
  
Ayeka suppressed a shudder and watched as the young woman froze at the familiar voice that echoed in the room.  
  
"Do you think that the professor would want you contaminating her experimental area?" the tall, pale man asked.  
  
Ryoko turned slowly and stared at Kagato.  
  
"She knows I'm in here. I asked if I could; some of the experiments died so I buried them and momma said that the flowers I plant here would grow better. You can leave now." The young woman tried to dismiss her tormentor with a flick of a dirty hand.  
  
Ayeka heard the girl's voice crack at the end.  
  
Kagato laughed. "Ryoko do you think, when the Professor has grown tired of you that is, you'll end up here?" He paused, watching the girl for her reaction, "Probably not. You'll probably end up all dusty and forgotten in some old corner of her lab. The experiments that are truly important to the Professor are repeated numerous times. I've seen a few of them take a lot of damage. You're the only one of your kind you know. She treats you pretty well, you don't show any signs of use." He said smiling as the girl turned away from him.  
  
"Shut up. That's not true. Go away. I don't believe you."  
  
Ayeka watched as Kagato pulled a handheld computer out of his pocket.  
  
"Old technology has its uses," he whispered before keying in a code.  
  
Ryoko's head and then her body turned towards Kagato.  
  
"Stop it!" Ryoko said as she fought her own body. Fear radiated from her eyes. Ryoko grabbed onto a tree, her lower body moving at Kagato's command.  
  
"Okay so that's the frequency that affects the lower body. If I alter it slightly what would be the effect?" Kagato muttered as he fiddled with the hand-held device.  
  
"Kagato stop it please. It hurts!"  
  
Kagato stopped and looked at Ryoko. His body language and facial expressions were completely blank. "But Ryoko didn't you want to be perfect?"  
  
"Yes, but it hurts," Ryoko whispered.  
  
"Ryoko you know the Professor loves all things perfect. You've seen how she has complimented me on my perfect work, what did she say?"  
  
Sighing, Ryoko released the tree with a pain filled grimace. "She said she loved it."  
  
Kagato moved to stand next to the still Ryoko. "You know I'm only doing this because I want you to be happy. You're almost like a little sister to me and what did you learn about brothers and sisters?"  
  
"They love each other."  
  
"See if you're perfect in every way the Professor will love you and so will I."  
  
The Juraian Princess flinched at the smile Kagato was giving to Ryoko's bowed head. She continued to watch the tableau unfold before her.  
  
Kagato lifted the device and entered another series of codes. "Now let me finish."  
  
Ayeka watched as Kagato tried code after code seeing how Ryoko's body reacted to his efforts. She lost track of time and was unsure how long she stood there watching as Kagato manipulated the girl Ryoko but she thought it couldn't have been more than a few minutes, certainly less than an hour.  
  
Suddenly Kagato grinned and did a little dance. "Ryoko I've done it! Now I have you under voice contol!"  
  
"Kagato I don't think that would be a good idea. Wouldn't it be cheating?"  
  
"Ryoko, shut up."  
  
Ryoko opened her mouth to retort, nothing came out. Her eyes widen in horror.  
  
Kagato grinned, "Jump in the water."  
  
Ryoko's body did as his voice commanded.  
  
"Float"  
  
Ryoko floated on the surface of the pond.  
  
Ayeka's body tensed, she thought she knew what was going to happen next. She wasn't entirely wrong.  
  
"Sink," Kagato commanded.  
  
Ryoko sank.  
  
Ayeka moved in horror. She found herself under water with the frightened girl. She could see the fear grow as the girl tried to swim towards the surface but her body was heavier than she was used to.  
  
"Float. Ryoko speak."  
  
"Kagato, why did you do that?!" Ryoko sputtered, coughing between every word.  
  
"Sink."  
  
Ryoko gulped air and went under. When she had almost reached the mid-point Kagato spoke again, "Float."  
  
Ryoko's response wasn't as bad. She was more prepared for it. "Kagato can we stop now?"  
  
"Come on Ryoko, just a little while longer."  
  
"But."  
  
"Ryoko, sink. Float. Sink. Float. Sink. Float. Sink."  
  
Soon it became a mini-mantra for Kagato. His whole body danced with excitement. He moved closer to look into the water where Ryoko was. She was sinking right below him.  
  
"Ryoko? Are you still in here?" Washu's questioning voice interrupted Kagato, who whispered float and grabbed the waterlogged girl.  
  
Ayeka watched and suppressed a snicker as he got soaking wet.  
  
Kagato called out to Washu as he pulled Ryoko half out of the water. "Professor we're over here."  
  
Washu stepped out of a portal. Her eyes widened as she spotted her daughter and student. "Kagato what happened?"  
  
"Ryoko wanted to show me how fast she could swim and she caught a cramp. I didn't realize what had happened at first. Bad cramp Ryoko, wasn't it?"  
  
Ryoko who now clutched her thigh in pain could only nod. Tears were running down her face.  
  
Washu knelt next to Ryoko. "I've told you not to push yourself so hard Ryoko. Thank you Kagato."  
  
"It's alright Professor. Ryoko's almost a little sister to me."  
  
Ayeka turned to look at the adult Ryoko that stood next to her. "Ryoko why did you show this to me and me alone?"  
  
Ryoko smiled sadly, "You know Princess, I'm not really sure."  
  
=====  
  
"That explains a lot about her now." Yosho said leaning back sipping his tea and watching as his sister placed another, slightly larger, piece of the puzzle that was her friend's mind into place.  
  
Washu looked from the screen back at Yosho. Confusion, surprise and anger fought for control, she finally settled on confusion. "What's that supposed to mean?"  
  
"Washu, you and I both know you are a perfectionist. Kagato used that to his advantage. He used it well; Ryoko in her innocence never knew that you already saw her as perfect. He took her tiny fears and exploited them. It seems Ryoko has been somewhat intimidated by you. Wait, before you start, think about it." Yosho said as confusion went to anger.  
  
Washu sighed. "Alright."  
  
"In Ryoko's birthday party memory you had a checklist that you were making sure you had everything on. Ryoko was alone, playing with a ribbon pole."  
  
"So you're saying she feels that I've abandoned her?" Washu's voice rose an octave as she spoke.  
  
"Not at all, you know that's not what I'm trying to say."  
  
"Then what are you trying to say?" she asked through clenched teeth.  
  
"Ryoko's been falling back on this subconsciously. She wants to be perfect for you. She sees herself as too flawed to be loved by you. This is were that idea originated."  
  
"So it's my fault she thinks this?"  
  
Yosho sighed before placing his cup back on the table. "Washu stop being dense. I know you understand very well what I'm saying. And you know whose fault this really is. You may have contributed to the problem but you aren't the main cause, that lies at Kagato's feet."  
  
~8 ~8 ~8 ~8 ~ 8 Well what do you think? Has it gotten any better? Reviews. Anywhos, moving on (pulls clip board out) At this point I want to thank those very special people who have reviewed and said stuff. I would really like to thank my partner in creation of this Bobr. Bobr maybe we can figure out a way to market your genius ^_^. Ummm who else is there oh yeah Krust, and Wanderbyy you two are great readers and encouragers. Okay that's enough for this chapter. Hang around there will be more. Oh yeah GO READ BOBR!!!! ^_~ M~ 


	5. chapter 5

Disclaimer: Everything belongs to its proper owners. BOBR IS SO COOL. WE DID GOOOOOOOOOOD ^_^ Oh wow can you believe it. Its another chapter. Hope you enjoy. M~  
  
Washu stared at Yosho, her body stiff with rapidly changing emotions. "So I contributed to the creation of the state of mind my child is in?" she snapped. "Yes I know Kagato is the main cause, but what good does it bring in accepting that he is? He's dead Yosho. Being angry at the dead does no good."  
  
The old priest laid a gentle hand on the scientist's shoulder. "Washu, he is very much alive in Ryoko's mind, you've seen that. You have noticed how vivid everything is in her mind. It almost as if she does not just remember the memories, she relives them."  
  
"She is Yosho," Washu smiled ruefully. "She doesn't just remember; she relives them. I always hated the fact that over time memories altered from what really happened to what you want to have happened. And I hated how over time even those faded." She moved away from her chair to stand at Ryoko's side. "I want Ryoko to remember without that happening to her and now it haunts her because I forgot that it's better that some memories fade. Hers. never will." She sank to her knees and took Ryoko's hand in her own. "They will. they will be real for as long as she lives." Washu's voice had dropped to a whisper. "Forgive me Ryoko."  
  
The lab was suddenly filled with the eerie sound of organ music. Both Washu and Yosho looked to the monitor.  
  
Ryoko opened her eyes to a darkened room. Where am I? she wondered. Moving slowly she waited for her eyes to adjust to the darkness. Suddenly the room was flooded with light.  
  
"Nice of you to join me." The voice echoed around the room. Her vision was blinded by the light. Her brow narrowed in thought, the voice sounded familiar but there was something different about it.  
  
"Would you like to know who I am?"  
  
Ignoring the voice, Ryoko closed her eyes and began searching the room by touch. Four walls were felt as she circled the floor on her knees. Organ music had begun to play; it was beautiful but for some reason disturbing. It was familiar but it wasn't. Leaning back against the wall Ryoko attempted to open her eyes. They opened once again to total darkness.  
  
What could she do now? Maybe there's a way out through the ceiling. Standing slowly she reached up, her back sliding against the wall. She continued to follow the ceiling, which was low enough for her to place her palms flat against it. After tracing the ceiling along the wall she stopped and took a deep breath. The only place to check now was the middle of the room.  
  
Her body had begun to tremble as she moved out into the darkness without support. Suddenly the floor was no longer beneath her feet. She screamed in fear as she tumbled into open space.  
  
The organ had stopped playing.  
  
She was floating, she didn't know how but she was.  
  
"Hmmm, interesting response, it would be wise of you to stop screaming. Now Ryoko I have great plans for you."  
  
"Who are you?" Ryoko screamed into the darkness.  
  
"Sorry you'll have to wait for later for the answers to that question."  
  
"Let me out of here. If you don't let me out I'm telling my mother."  
  
"You have no mother Ryoko."  
  
"Yes I do."  
  
"Where is she then? Tell her to come get you."  
  
Closing her eyes Ryoko stretched her mind towards the woman who had identified herself as her mother. Tentatively she mentally called out and waited for an answer. The returning silence was deafening. The sound of her own breathing was the only sound in the room.  
  
There was no answer, mental or verbal. She tried again. And again.  
  
"See, she's not answering is she?"  
  
"Shut up. She might be busy, she'll answer."  
  
Her tormentor laughed. "Keep trying then. Don't believe me; I was only trying to be honest."  
  
The organ music began again.  
  
Ryoko screamed. Opening her eyes, Washu was standing next to her bed in her room. Washu was wearing her nightclothes and wore an expression of concern.  
  
"Ryoko, are you alright?" Washu asked kneeling next to the bed.  
  
With a sob Ryoko threw her arms around Washu's neck.  
  
Washu asked again what was wrong but Ryoko refused to say anything. Washu crawled in to the bed with Ryoko and held her until she fell back into an uneasy sleep.  
  
~~~~~  
  
"So, are you ready for more?" Ryoko's image asked Ayeka as the scene faded. "There's bunches more of this stuff you know."  
  
"I. I don't know," the princess replied in a tiny voice. "After what I've just seen I'm not sure I can handle it. I wish Tenchi were here."  
  
"Well he's not," came a voice from behind her. Ayeka whirled to find another Ryoko, this one looking more like the woman she knew from Tenchi's house. "He's dealing with problems of his own. Or rather my own." This older Ryoko sidled up to the princess. "It's just you and me babe."  
  
Ayeka stepped away from the other girl's ephemeral image. "Ryoko, how dare you!" she exclaimed. "I'm not that kind of girl."  
  
Ryoko's semi-transparent image shrugged. "Oh well, you don't know what you're missing."  
  
The princess' mouth dropped open; she'd never expected this sort of behavior from Ryoko. "Hey," the image said. "Just kidding, right? If you don't want to see another Kagato memory, then how about this? I promise you there's no blood or anything in it." Ryoko pointed to a large puzzle piece near Ayeka's feet.  
  
"I don't know whether to believe you or not," Ayeka said as she bent down to pick it up. This drew a sour look from Ryoko.  
  
The pirate clutched her chest. "Ooh, that stings. Have I ever lied to you?"  
  
The princess considered for a moment then her mouth twitched into a half smile. "No, but you don't always tell the whole story either." Ayeka picked up the piece and the scene around her changed. The two girls stood on the shrine grounds, near the cave where Ryoko had been imprisoned for so long.  
  
"Told ya," commented Ryoko. "Nothing but good memories here. Now watch."  
  
Ayeka did as she was told and watched as a young Tenchi, no more than 4 or 5 years old, emerged from the trail accompanied by an older woman carrying a parasol. The princess bit off an exclamation as she recognized the woman with Tenchi. She watched as the woman seated herself on a convenient rock while Tenchi chased insects through the grass with a small net.  
  
Ayeka felt a tug on her sleeve and followed Ryoko's pointing finger to the entrance of the cave. She saw a ghostly figure of Ryoko watching the boy with a sad look on her face.  
  
"I wanted so badly to be able to play with him," her Ryoko said, a tear forming in her eye. She wiped it away with her arm. "He could feel my presence you know, but he couldn't actually see or hear me. He was the first person who wasn't actually afraid of me. I think I comforted him." Ayeka was silent as she watched the other Ryoko smile occasionally when a bug would get away from the boy or some other event would take place.  
  
"I watched generations of Masaki's grow up," Ryoko continued. "But Tenchi was the first one that didn't run away when he felt me. He awoke something in me, something that had been missing for centuries."  
  
The scene suddenly changed. They were in the same field but it was near dusk and the sky was overcast. A just slightly older Tenchi came bursting through the woods, tears streaming down his face. He fell to the ground sobbing at the entrance to the cave. "Why Grandma, why?" he cried, but there was no one around to answer him. Ryoko's ghostly form suddenly appeared above the boy and Ayeka watched as she knelt down and tried to run her fingers through his hair.  
  
"This was the day his Grandmother died," the other Ryoko said. "I wanted to hold him, to tell him everything would be all right. He didn't even know I was there."  
  
The scene faded back to an empty field in bright sunlight. Ayeka stretched herself out on the soft grass, Ryoko sat down beside her and started picking the green blades and flicking them out towards the center of the field. "She's not dead you know," the princess said suddenly.  
  
"Wha.? Who's not dead?" Ryoko asked.  
  
"Tenchi's grandmother. The woman we saw him with was Airi. She didn't die, she was called home."  
  
"Called home?" Ryoko wondered. "You mean like Elvis?"  
  
Ayeka snickered, recalling that silly American movie they had all watched together, and then rolled over to look at the pirate. "Yes, exactly. She was. is an old friend of my brother's from the Academy. I never knew that she was ever here on Earth though. Or that she and Yosho had any children together."  
  
"Time for a long talk with brother Yosho then, right?" Ryoko asked, grinning slyly.  
  
"Indeed," Ayeka replied. There was a long silence; Ayeka was lost in her thoughts and Ryoko waiting for the princess to say something else. Finally Ayeka broke the silence.  
  
"You said that Tenchi awakened something in you, what was that?" Ayeka asked, looking up into the blue sky. Ryoko fell back until she too was laying and looking up at the fluffy clouds passing by.  
  
"Emotions, feelings," the pirate replied. "The only thing Kagato let me feel was a little joy after I killed someone or stole something. I was a tool for him to use, nothing more, and tools don't have feelings." There was another moment of silence. "You know," Ryoko continued. "I've had a number of, well let's not call them lovers, just very temporary companions, during my life. I've never actually felt anything for them though. Not like I feel toward Tenchi. Every time I get near to him. Ayeka," Ryoko rolled over to look at the other girl and propped her head up on her hand. "What does an orgasm feel like?" she asked with all sincerity.  
  
"Well, it's kind of." Ayeka turned bright red. "Never mind," she finished quickly. The princess stood up and the puzzle that represented Ryoko's mind appeared before her. As she placed the piece that she held, she noticed that there were only a few more pieces missing.  
  
~~~~~  
  
"I'm not sure I understand what's happening with Ryoko," Sasami stated, her wide-eyed gaze bouncing back and forth between her brother and Washu. "There seems to be several different Ryoko's at once."  
  
"Not at all," Washu replied, looking at Yosho calmly sitting and drinking a cup of tea as he watched events unfold on the monitors. "What you're seeing is the different aspects of Ryoko's personality. We all have them; they color how we react to different situations. It's just that in Ryoko's case."  
  
Yosho gently set down his teacup. "They've become fragmented, separated from each other; much like her memories," he finished Washu's explanation.  
  
"You mean there are different Sasami's inside me?" wondered the little princess.  
  
"Oh yes," Yosho agreed. "They are what make you laugh and cry, become angry or sad."  
  
"But those are emotions." Sasami was a bit perplexed. "Ryoko said that Kagato..." Her face suddenly brightened. "Oh, I see."  
  
"Exactly," said the old priest, picking up his cup and refocusing his attention on the action taking place in Ryoko's mind. He didn't see, or pretended not to see, the odd look that Washu was giving him from across the room.  
  
~~~~~  
  
Tenchi blinked as the puzzle again appeared in front of him. Ayeka was still AWOL. Ryoko why did you show me that? Why did she show me that? It was her first glimpse of Kagato as evil. he thought as he looked around in confusion. There was no sign of the woman who memories he was being exposed to. He asked the question again, this time aloud, and then she stood before him as a faded version of herself. Her arms were wrapped around her upper body and she gave off a mixture of fear and sadness.  
  
"I don't know; that's the first time I've remembered that since it happened. But see that's the thing; I'm really not sure which ones are real or memories I made up or ones he put there."  
  
"Why didn't you tell Washu?"  
  
"What was I supposed to tell her? Hey mom, I think I might be going crazy," Ryoko growled at him. "There is a voice in my head and it's saying things that frighten me?  
  
"Yes," Tenchi replied somberly. "If she is truly your mother, she'd understand."  
  
What happened next shocked everyone, the participants and the watchers. Ryoko snarled and lunged at Tenchi in anger, her energy sword hissing into bright orange life; Ayeka suddenly appeared between them and Ryoko's blade entered Ayeka's shoulder, the smell of cauterized flesh filling the air. Ryoko backed away in horror as the princess fell to her knees in front of her. The energy sword fizzled out but no one noticed. Tenchi knelt down and took the injured princess in his arms. Ayeka smiled up at him, pain making her moan slightly with each breath. She turned her attention to the pirate. "Why?" the princess asked in a weak voice. "You love him so much." Ryoko just looked at the other girl, the princess' pain mirrored in her own face. "You love him, and I think that he." Ayeka's form faded away before she could finish.  
  
Tenchi stood up and looked at Ryoko angrily. "Ryoko that was uncalled for. All she was trying to do was help you!" Tenchi said in a harsh, angry voice.  
  
"I wasn't trying to hit her," the pirate snapped in response. She took a step back from the boy. "Who are you to judge me?" she yelled. "What right do you have to tell me that I'm at fault? I've suffered through that once and I refuse to do it again. Everything I've done it was out a need to be loved but..." she snorted, quieting down somewhat. "It makes me wonder if it is really worth it. Worth my life, my soul, my sanity?"  
  
Ryoko opened and closed her hand, her sword flickering on and off as Tenchi stood watching. Finally she stopped with the sword extended. She drooped backwards, holding the sword in her left hand across her chest, the tip resting at her throat. "I used to beg to die but no one listened. I couldn't kill myself then and really doubt that I could now, but death suddenly seems like a peaceful thing."  
  
~~~~~  
  
Sasami yelped in shock as her sister set off some of the numerous machines that Washu had her connected to. In the background she heard other alarms going off.  
  
"Miss Washu, something's wrong with Ayeka!" Sasami said holding her sister's hand in a death grip.  
  
"Hold on, I'm coming, I need to.Yosho I want to talk with you later, but for right now I want you keep an eye on Ryoko and Tenchi." She said over her shoulder punching keys on her laptop and moving towards Ayeka.  
  
"Waaashuuu," Sasami wailed when Ayeka's eyes snapped open and her body began to shake from shock. A spot of blood, not a lot but still very visible, formed on the fabric covering purple-haired princess' shoulder.  
  
8~~~8 Well another chapter done after a really long time I hope it was worth the wait cuz we put a lot of work into it. Hang around and we hope to have another out soon. Thanks BOBR. Happy Reading M~ 


	6. chapter 6

Disclaimer: everything belongs to its proper owners which does not include me. ^_~  
  
Hope you enjoy this. Oh yeah thanks for reading. Read Bobr's stuff. Happy Reading. M~  
  
What is Forgiveness? By Meekachu  
  
Chapter 6.  
  
Ryoko's sword fizzled away as Tenchi knelt down beside her. He reached out but she pulled back. "I just want this nightmare to end. I want to die." She looked up at him, her golden eyes pleading. "Help me die."  
  
"Ryoko, stop talking like that!" Tenchi said, moving towards the prone figure of the girl. Suddenly everything went black. Tenchi halted and waited; this did not feel like a good thing.  
  
A single spotlight illuminated a battered red haired woman, suspended in the air by her arms. Tenchi felt himself being drawn closer to the woman. His heart pounded as he moved closer. Soon he could make out the features on the face and pain shot through him. He denied what was right in front of him.  
  
"Look familiar Ryoko? She said I had something that wasn't mine. She said that that something didn't belong to anyone, it only belonged to itself," Kagato said moving out from behind the woman's body. She hung by her arms, her wrists were raw, bruises and cuts were vivid next to the white toga- like like dress she wore. The dress itself was no longer pristine; blood decorated it in dotted designs. Her magenta hair lay matted and shown as a stark contrast against her paleness. She looked up at the sound of Kagato's voice. Her emerald eyes widened at the figure that stood in the shadows. She whispered one word. "Ryoko."  
  
Tenchi shivered as he felt a slender form pass through his body.  
  
"Ryoko, tell her who you belong to," Kagato said with a smirk.  
  
Tenchi watched as Ryoko moved further into the light. Her eyes were almost as green as Washu's and seemed to glow with their own light.  
  
Ryoko cocked her head to the side slowly. She stared at Washu. "I.belong to.Kagato," she said watching Washu expression with apparent disinterest.  
  
Kagato circled Washu. "You see, I have trained her well. Ryoko show the lady your gift."  
  
Ryoko relaxed slightly at his words. She held her hand in front of Washu's face. Kagato laughed at Washu's look of horror as a glowing orb formed and flickered in Ryoko's outstretched palm.  
  
"Tampering can be such fun Professor, don't you agree? Ryoko, show the professor the blade. Show her how you have no use for conventional weapons."  
  
Ryoko squeezed her fist as if she was gripping a hilt of weapon. The orange blade flashed right next to Washu's face. Tenchi could hear the hum of the blade and Washu's sudden intake of breath as the blade formed right next to her face. He was frozen by dread.  
  
"Ryoko, make it a scalpel. Make an incision from neck to waist." Kagato said, watching Ryoko who was still watching Washu. He grinned at Washu. "Most parents dream of their children becoming doctors or surgeons. Did you dream of Ryoko like that? Well, here she is."  
  
The blade changed shape. Ryoko moved closer, the hand holding the blade trembled, the motion barely obvious and only noticeable because of the small space.  
  
"Ryoko. Do. It." Kagato growled his eyes narrowing in anger.  
  
The blade inched closer. Ryoko held the tip at Washu's throat and moved no further. The adult Washu swallowed hard and closed her eyes, tears flowing freely down her face.  
  
Kagato stalked around to stand behind Ryoko. "I said cut!" He grabbed Ryoko's arm near the elbow and thrust it forward then pulled down. The glowing blade entered Washu's throat and moved down her body, parting robe and skin alike. Washu remained silent but her pain shown on her face. Tenchi was surprised that there was very little blood.  
  
When the blade reached the area of her navel, her form disappeared in a flash of light. Kagato laughed maniacally as Ryoko fell to the floor, her eyes returning to their normal golden color. She sobbed uncontrollably.  
  
Kagato laid a hand on her head, much as a father would in comforting a child. "Good Ryoko, very good." He turned and walked off into the shadows.  
  
Tenchi didn't know whether to cry or be ill. He was beginning to understand why Ryoko acted the way she did with Washu and why Ayeka seemed so afraid of her at times. But it didn't change the way he felt about her, he still wanted the old Ryoko back and for everyone to be a family again. He started forward, wanting to take the shaking figure in his arms; to tell her how much she meant to him.  
  
Ryoko looked up at his approach. "Don't come near me!" she yelled. "Didn't you see? I killed her!" Tenchi stopped. Ryoko dropped her head onto her chest. "I killed her. I killed my mother."  
  
Tenchi kneeled down and held the sobbing girl against him, rubbing her shoulders and back. "No you didn't," he told her. "It was an illusion, it must be."  
  
More sobs and a muffled voice from his shoulder. "She's dead. I did it. I'm all alone now."  
  
Tenchi helped her to her feet. "No, you're not alone. You have me and Ayeka and Sasami. And even Mihoshi. We're all here. And Washu's not dead, you know that."  
  
Ryoko looked up at his face and sniffed a couple of times. "Mommy? She's still alive?"  
  
Tenchi nodded. Looking down he saw a puzzle piece. Not letting go of Ryoko, he knelt and picked it up, the puzzle that represented Ryoko's mind suddenly appearing before him. He noticed that the piece he held was the last one and he carefully fitted it into place. The imaginary world of Ryoko's memories faded out around him.  
  
~~~~~  
  
Back in the lab, Washu's hand slowly released her throat as she remembered where she was. Sweat was poring from every pore in her body. That never happened, she thought. "Bastard," she muttered. "He planted that memory. To give him absolute control over her, make her feel helpless." She glanced at where Yosho was hiding Sasami's eyes from the monitor and then over at Ayeka's still unconscious form set a little apart from the other two. Everything seemed in order. She hurried over to check the readings on the machines still hooked to her daughter and Tenchi.  
  
"It's almost over," she told the others. "They'll be waking soon."  
  
Yosho nodded. "And hopefully everything will be resolved. Are you ready to face her?"  
  
Washu bowed her head. "Yes, I believe so. I understand now, but you knew long ago, didn't you?"  
  
Yosho smiled weakly. "Indeed, seven hundred years ago Tsunami showed me these images. I had hoped that Ryoko could resolve the conflict herself. I'm glad she had friends to help."  
  
"And her mother?"  
  
"Yes, her mother too, although it took her a bit longer to find her lost daughter than I had hoped. It is said that time heals all wounds, Washu. It's been a long time since Ryoko had a mother; she needs one now."  
  
"Yes." A single tear glistened on the scientist's cheek.  
  
Yosho took Sasami by the hand. "Come sister, I think Washu needs some time to herself." He looked back at the scientist. "You will call if you need me or Sasami for anything?"  
  
Washu could only nod.  
  
~~~~~  
  
Tenchi groaned softly as the world, or at least the bit of it within his range of vision, slowly gained focus. He sensed someone near him and managed to move his head enough to make out a small form. Washu? No, this form had two long ponytails and an odd darkish lump seated between them. Sasami then; and Ryo-ohki. He tried to speak but nothing came out except a quiet croaking noise.  
  
Sasami giggled and covered her mouth. "Gee Tenchi, you sound like a sick frog." Tenchi managed a weak smile.  
  
"That's because his throat is dried out from the oxygen mask I had on him," said a nasally voice from his other side. He moved his head around, his strength returning faster now.  
  
"Washu," he whispered. "Ryoko.?"  
  
"Ryoko's fine," the scientist said, patting Tenchi's shoulder. "She's in another room, still out. As soon as you're strong enough you can see her."  
  
Tenchi tried to sit up but found he wasn't quite that recovered yet. "Is Ayeka all right?" he asked in a much stronger voice.  
  
Washu looked over Tenchi at Sasami before answering. "The princess is going to be fine too. But I'm keeping her under until her wound heals a bit more."  
  
"Wound?" Tenchi wondered out loud. And then he remembered. Ryoko attacking him in a fit of anger, Ayeka suddenly appearing between them and being run through by the other woman. "She wasn't badly injured, was she? Ryoko'll never forgive herself if she was. She didn't mean to do it."  
  
"We know," Washu told him.  
  
Sasami agreed, "We saw the whole thing on the monitors Tenchi, I know Ryoko didn't mean to hurt my sister and I think Ayeka will know it too."  
  
"She'll be mad," Tenchi said. "At least at first." He reached out and grabbed Washu's shoulder gently. "I want to see Ryoko now, then Ayeka," he told her.  
  
Washu helped Tenchi sit up then handed him a cup of water. He nodded gratefully and downed it in two swallows. "Slowly Tenchi," Washu admonished. "Too fast and you'll get sick." She handed him another cup, this time he took slow, careful sips.  
  
~~~~~  
  
Ryo-ohki bounced into the darkened room, rushing between Tenchi and Washu and almost causing Tenchi to trip. He cursed mildly under his breath then hurried over to the still form curled up on the hospital-like bed as fast as his still slightly wobbly legs would carry him. Ryo-ohki hopped up on the sheets and started purring as she curled up next to her master. Tenchi took this as a sign that Ryoko was going to be ok. The cabbit looked up at him with eyes that were almost a match for Ryoko's and he was reminded that the two shared a common genetic bond. He didn't care though; his thoughts were only for the young woman on the bed.  
  
Tenchi looked down on Ryoko's peacefully sleeping form. A smile played about his lips as he saw her composed face. She really is beautiful, he thought, reaching out to stroke her cheek. She moaned and moved in her sleep.  
  
Washu was suddenly at his side. "I don't think you should be here when she wakes up," she told the boy. "She'll remember you being in her mind and might associate that with what happened to her."  
  
"Won't she do that anyway?" Tenchi asked as he reluctantly allowed Washu to guide him away.  
  
"Maybe," Washu said. "But if you're not here to constantly remind her, the memories will lock into their proper perspectives faster." She opened the door for him. But don't worry; she won't wake up alone. I'll be here with her the whole time; that's how mothers are." The door closed between them and Washu never saw the odd look on Tenchi's face at her comment. Tenchi noticed that Ryo-ohki had stayed in the room too.  
  
He found Sasami waiting for him when he turned around. "Come on Tenchi," the little princess said, taking his hand. "I'll take you to Ayeka now. Even though she's still asleep I know you're being there will make her feel better."  
  
Tenchi allowed Sasami to lead him away but he kept looking back to the closed door that hid Ryoko and her mother.  
  
~~~~~  
  
Ryoko's eyes snapped open. At first she was disoriented, the last thing she remembered clearly was sitting under Funaho feeling sorry for herself. Everything after that was jumbled memories of Ayeka and Tenchi in situations they shouldn't have been in. And there was something about the princess being seriously hurt as well. She closed her eyes and tried to sort her mind into some semblance of order.  
  
Her head hurt, even with her eyes closed. Opening them, she turned her head to figure out where she was; she had a suspicion, but really hoped that she wasn't right. She had developed a hearty fear of labs of any kind and Washu's pranks had done nothing to make it any better. She could feel her breathing become labored but there was nothing she could really do to stop it but get out. She shifted her attention to her arms and felt all the tubes and the wires that were attached to her body.  
  
Washu, fitfully dozing with her head down on one of her consoles, heard the sheet covering her daughter rustle as Ryoko moved. Her head came up and she squinted in the dim light towards where Ryoko was supposedly resting. Moving quickly she went to check on her personally; as she stood, Washu's eyes quickly scanned the sensors that told her that Tenchi and Ayeka, now in separate rooms, were still deep asleep. Even in her rush to be with her daughter she was concerned about the others. Washu had learned something about herself from Ryoko's ordeal too.  
  
Ryoko heard the machinery humming and buzzing quietly in the darkness; she wanted out, the old fears were rising like a flood. She really wanted out. She tugged weakly at the connections in her arms.  
  
"Ryoko, honey, don't do that." Ryoko felt her heart stop as the voice that came out of the darkness. It was a voice that held a hidden longing and carefully masked pain. She didn't know how to respond so she temporarily retreated back into the shell that was so familiar to her.  
  
"I would like to be left alone," Ryoko said turning her head to stare off into a darkened corner of Washu's lab, her voice was raspy from disuse and cold.  
  
She didn't see Washu flinch at her tone. Ryoko wasn't sure how she felt, even though she understood, at least she thought she did, why Washu had done what she had. But her mind wasn't allowing her heart to accept it.  
  
She knew she was still hurting Washu. Ryoko heard Washu's silent pleas, but her mind and heart were still unsure. Washu may say she cared about her, but her actions had never matched Ryoko's concept of caring.  
  
Strangely enough she could accept the fact that Yosho, Tenchi and yes, even Ayeka were concerned about her. Ryoko snorted softly, whom was she kidding, it was concern but it also was something deeper, perhaps love. But the one person her love was most important to at the moment was standing next to her and she couldn't give it to her. Yet.  
  
Washu had always been there but it took the shattering of her mind for her to see that. It was Washu who had held back her insanity, Washu who was that little point of light whenever she found herself lost in darkness. Washu had held her fears away when they had come close to devouring her. Washu had been the glue that held her mind together.  
  
Until she had lost the thread that was Washu in her mind she hadn't realized how she had built everything on that thread. Without Washu her mind had unraveled. But now it was whole again, or at least as whole as it would ever be with her memories and experiences.  
  
Ryoko knew that Washu had yet to restore the mental link the two of them shared. She was afraid to have it restored, she knew she no longer had any barriers from which she could fight behind. She knew if it came to a mental kind of battle she would lose. Washu's world was based on her mind, her mental superiority. Ryoko's mind, although powerful in it's own way, had ground to a halt.  
  
Her own skills were more physical in nature even though Ryoko knew Washu had the skills for that as well, she just chose to use her mental skills more. Ryoko realized that she could probably beat Washu on purely physical grounds; in her memories Washu had proven that on many occasions by losing, whether intentionally or not Ryoko couldn't be sure. Washu did love her, she knew this, but she just couldn't admit it to herself.  
  
She now knew without a doubt that Washu was her mother, she could admit that Washu at least cared. Her mind had made the first step towards accepting that.  
  
Turning slowly Ryoko looked back to where Washu had been standing, watching her. She wasn't there to her right so Ryoko looked towards the foot of the bed. Her mother sat on her floating cushion head bowed. Yosho, who had come silently into the room during Ryoko's introspection, stood with his hands on her shoulders. Washu's fingers were entwined with his. Ryoko watched as Yosho lean forward to say something in Washu's ear.  
  
There was so much she didn't know about the woman who is her mother. Ryoko snorted she only knew what the universe knew or was told. The woman who sat listening to Yosho was an unknown to Ryoko. Washu was her mom but she just couldn't call her 'mom'. Ryoko knew who her mother was and it wasn't because Washu had tried to get her to call her that, but calling her anything other that Washu was hard. She had spent so much of her life thinking that Washu had no right whatsoever to the title, that even now that she knew the truth of her past, she still couldn't do it. Now it seemed she was the one that had no right to address Washu by that title since she'd had so little belief.  
  
Ryoko closed her eyes. Her chest seemed to tighten as her mind dissected itself once again. The truth hurt. At this point Ryoko really understood the earth saying 'Ignorance is bliss'. Ryoko ignored the tears that slipped beneath her closed eyelids. "Washu forgive me," Ryoko whispered before allowing sleep to pull her under. She didn't see the old priest squeeze the scientist's shoulder at her words, nor the tear that escaped and ran down her mother's cheek.  
  
~~~  
  
We did it so what do you think?? Be a good little reader and leave a review and read Bobr's stuff, too. ^_^ M~ 


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